I was flattered recently to have attended NOVA Live’s event for blogging women. The event was hosted by Super Nova Mommy, a fellow “Mommy Blogger”, which I suppose is a category my blog fits into at this point in history. It was held at Chic Envy, an upscale consignment store in Fairfax Corner, which I can’t believe I’ve never visited given my penchant for consignment. I also learned about the Lost Creek Winery in Leesburg, which has family-friendly events. I met in person some lady bloggers whom I’d “met” online: Dulles Moms, Our Life Memories and Moneywise Moms.
In my nearly three years of blogging, it’s the first time I’ve attended an event on the subject. The thought had crossed my mind to seek out blogger networks, like BlogHer. But the thing about Mommy Bloggers is that we are trying to fit blogging into being a mom. And usually a wife, worker, friend, family member, community member and oh yes, our own individual self, whatever that looks like after all those other roles. So I haven’t had time to connect with this growing community.
And it is growing. There are now nearly four million Mommy Bloggers. Why the surge?
Me thinks it’s because of our growing reliance on technology—a reliance that while in some ways “connects” us with more people ultimately, in My Humble Opinion, disconnects us.
Many times I think about what my own Mom (hi Ma!) must have experienced as a new mom in the late 70s and early 80s. I envision her calling up friends to set up playdates and spending a few minutes chatting about the crisis du jour – diaper blow out, sleepless night, screaming kiddo. They talked about raising their children. As a new mom, I was writing up my thoughts on my handheld device while breastfeeding or trying to steal away time after a long day, trying to type with one hand about how isolating, joyous and overwhelming motherhood can be—and reading blogs of other women writing about the same. I am putting information out there and taking some in, but not really having a robust conversation.
There’s an irony there: some of us moms feel disconnected, so we spend time writing online, which is inherently and individual activity that makes us disconnected.
It’s good that we can connect with friends on time schedules that meet us because time is now very individualized. But it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. We want to manipulate time so much at the expense of losing the human interactions that our mothers had in being available to people on their timetable. Those are the interactions that make relationships rich, meaningful and solid. So I’ll keep blogging, but friends, I may also call you on the phone to talk about our lives.
(On a related note, for more thoughts on women’s relationship with time, this NY Times Article from Motherlode blog is super.)