I’ll admit it: I have a pretty good baby. She doesn’t cry for no apparent reason, she smiles a lot and usually sleeps a consistent eight hours a night.
Yet, her sleeping mostly through the night doesn’t mean I’m getting a lot of sleep. I stay up a little after I put her down for some “me” or “husband and me” time. And I’ll wake up during the night as she kicks around in her crib (we call her the “Bucking Bronco”).
Last night she got me good: by 7:30am I had gotten about five hours of interrupted sleep. I spent the next few hours trying to get a nap in. Not happening.
By this point in the morning, all of the feelings of grumpiness mixed with doubt about every facet of my life are in full force. I also haven’t gone for a walk lately because it’s been a muggy sauna outside for weeks. Choosing my best from limited options, I decide to try to pick myself up with a walk at Tysons Galleria, thinking it wouldn’t be as crowded as the main mall. I’d also heard they had a nice food court.
Note to self: Tysons Galleria is not the place to go if you’re feeling burdened by pregnancy weight and suffering from sleep deprivation. I arrived at lunch time and the place was bustling with women wearing stilettos in their 20s, no doubt from the nearby consulting firms. I was the only one wielding a stroller around the masses of people ordering food and waiting to pay. I felt out of place amidst the high end stores and well-dressed people.
I had just read an article about how to be happier with one’s body after childbirth. It said to think about how you would talk positively about self image with your child, and talk to yourself that same way. I tried to keep that in mind as I heard the click-click of the high heels while I tried to savor and not wolf down my sandwich, waiting for the (finally!) sleeping baby in my stroller to wake up to feed on demand.
The score for today: The Bean 1, Mom 0. But I will rise again! Serenity now!